The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. Moving out of the condo. Putting everything in storage. Living on the road. Coordinating with the online school program, setting up appointment times. Double checking packing lists. Taking care of last minute details like changing phone plans to unlimited data, etc.
This plan was conceived almost five months ago and even though I have thought about it every day since then, I didn’t really let myself believe it could happen.
It is surreal to me and not just because I’ve been up since 5am.
Flying to Seattle. I can feel tears ready to spill out as I think about all the people who have helped make this possible.
This truly is the van that LOVE bought (rented).
So many people have reached out to me, sharing their hopes for us on this journey. Offering love, support, blessings, prayers. I am humbled – and forever touched by the generosity of family, friends and strangers.
I wish I could tell you all the poignant stories people have shared with me – parents wishing they could do this with their child. I know that it is a (HUGE!) gift to be able to do this with my son, right now, at this time in my life.
And…right now, on this plane, the thought of driving a big van is scaring me. I am feeling overwhelmed. I send a text to a friend:
“Dude I just landed and I’m starting to cry. This is a big deal!! Wahhhhh.
1- holy shit…who does this??
2- what was I thinking??”
This reminds me of just before I gave birth. Right before each of my babies were born, I became terrified that I couldn’t do it without drugs. But I learned (for me) that the pure panic I felt was a precursor of the imminent arrival of my children.
Landing. Wheels down. Pine trees. The air is hazy with smoke. Reminding me of flying into Delhi. Another world. Another reality. That feels fitting.
Something is definitely about to be born. Absolutely.
I started this for my son. I see already that this is for me. An unfolding – even if I don’t know what it is yet, my intuitive mind knows it’s big.
I see Harlan at baggage claim. With his skateboard. I’m ridiculously happy. I’m wearing two backpacks and my giant straw hat is hanging down my front. He’s embarrassed when I take a selfie of us.
We get our bags and take Uber to the van place. Steve gives us tutorial on the vehicle we will call home for the next three months. The tutorial lasts over an hour and a half. There’s a lot to learn. Steve reassures me that it will make sense soon. “Right now you’re drinking from a fire hose, but don’t worry you’ll get it.” Drinking from a fire hose. Yup.
The van is big. It’s more like a diesel bus. I’m learning that the trick is to take it slow. Enjoy the ride. Trite but true.
I will post a video of this incredible ride in the next day or so. Right now we are in nature, relaxing and enjoying some down time after navigating Seattle traffic. Harlan was a great co-pilot. I love/hate Waze.
I am present. I am home. Today we live in Washington. I hear sea gulls and smell the ocean.