Oh man. Time is flying by. The first of November found me in tears as I lamented to Harlan that we only had 4 more weeks traveling like this. In true teenaged fashion, Harlan seemed nonplused, and a little incredulous that time was actually moving as quickly as I said it would. We have 24 more days in our Road School van and, just like the hours of daylight at this time of year, the days are disappearing before my eyes. There is something poignant and beautiful about knowing one’s time is limited.
I conceived of this trip to give Harlan a break from the pressures of life, to give him space and clear his calendar of academic deadlines, and to take a breather from the daily grind. I hoped to show him sites along the way and introduce him to people that would inspire and spark his creative mind. There have been many learning opportunites along the way – some that I expected (like US history, talking about Japanese internment camps, the anchovy fishing industry of the Monterey Bay, economics, nutrition, phys ed, psychology, geography – reading maps, charting distance, sociology – the differences in towns we visited, neighborhoods – the tent cities of Oakland, the streets of Carmel, the culturally rich Bay Area, the food!)
Then there were the learning opportunities I wasn’t expecting – learning about all the natural disasters and charting the devastation, and in some cases driving through and seeing the damage first hand. Or the many discussions we have had about gun control and mass shootings (Las Vegas, NYC, Denver and most recently Texas have all had mass shootings since our journey began.) I must admit, as a mother, it is very hard for me to rationalize the violence and try to reassure my child that he is safe. As one wise friend said, “Safety is an illusion and this is so hard to tell our kids. Continue telling your son that he is resilient, strong and courageous. We don’t need to be safe from the inevitability of risk, fear, pain and death. We just need to believe in ourselves enough to know that we can handle those things when they happen.” This feels right to me and I am doing my best to affirm his strength and agency.
One big thing Harlan has learned on our trip is that he misses Boulder and wants to go back to school there. I love his clarity around this decision and I also love that he had the space to arrive at this decision with zero outside pressure from either of his parents. Now that Harlan has decided he officially wants to go back to school, he is motivated to apply himself academically. I believe Harlan will be coming back to Colorado refreshed and excited to work. In full transparency, I had hoped he would get the travel bug and want to continue to learn on the road with me, but that’s my dream not his.
And that brings me to a very big life lesson I have been learning. It’s called Differentiation. As in, my son is his own person, not a mini-me. We may look related, but he is definitely an individual. One I grow more proud of each day. He is wise beyond his years.
Here’s a story from our Instagram account:
Glad I did a practice swim yesterday. I’ve got a broken toe, some scrapes and a weird muscle injury that I’m treating with accupuncture and Advil. Harlan is fighting a cold. We do this triathlon in less than 48 hours and I’m freaking. Actually a slow, quiet dread is upon me. My son (who I’m secretly calling “Baby Buddha” right now) is telling me to relax and enjoy the ride in so many words. His exact words are “who cares if you come in last?” He is so wise. He told me if he gets short of breath in the water he has no problem flipping on his back and kicking. He said he doesn’t even care if it takes him an hour to finish the swim portion. Who is this kid? Over and over this Fall I have been learning the lesson: Slow down and Enjoy the ride. As Hunter S. Thompson said, “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
The journey continues to be both outwards and inwards indeed! Both Road School 2017 and the triathlon have been epic journeys of the heart, mind and soul and nothing like either of us expected. Harlan has been fighting a cold so he wasn’t able to race today. We started our training together 2 months ago as a way of spending time together and as a rhythm to our days. I never pictured racing solo (and having a great time!) I keep learning that the journey is what it’s all about, not the destination. Something Harlan already seems to know. Which is probably why he didn’t need to do the race. Happy to say he’s recovered from his cold.
Now we turn our attention to Southern California – Los Angeles & San Diego – for the final leg of this beautiful journey. Thanks for following along with us!
Highlights from Week 7
Marin County Triathlon, weather turning to Fall, telegraph ave, Berkeley
San Francisco, Pancho Villa tacos in the Mission, show at the Bottom of the Hill for Harlan
Monterey Bay Aquarium